Has there ever been a moment, an event that seems impossible to bear, too difficult to continue or endure, or something to which we make difficult to even start? Have we placed obstacles in front of us, talked ourselves out of such an event or action, made excuses. We then look back at our missed opportunities, did I really make the right decision? But to question every decision only leads to neurosis. God allows our will to be our own, to make decisions for our own, right or wrong we live, decide, lament or rejoice and repeat the cycle. But when we place ourselves into the hands of God, when we surrender our wills to God’s will, when we take up the Cross that Christ took up knowing in our hearts this Cross is our symbol of self-sacrifice, there we find eternal happiness.
Christ’s command seems impossible, to deny ourselves, to sacrifice our lives to gain eternal life. To deny our will and turn to a will that is mysterious and ominous. One can only imaging Peter battling his inner demons when Christ rebukes him for standing in the way of God and realizing he is powerless to transform it according to his will for it is the will of Peter that Christ live, that Christ remain with him. But in Christ’s response we cannot feel but confounded like Peter. How are we to deny ourselves? Are we to truly sacrifice our lives for the sake of the Kingdom?
In our second reading from Corinthians we find our answer and a proper response to God’s grace. In a world that is shaped by self centeredness we find in the Cross of Christ that we are to follow a path that goes against the grain of the world. It is this way of life that brings us mockery, derision and rejection from those who insist their actions are “good enough”. But the actions we make not only shape the world around us but they shape our relationship with God as well. If we deny in ourselves the will of God we lose the grace of the Holy Spirit and the dream that God has for us but if we allow God to seduce us, if surrender to his will, allow ourselves to be lifted up and moved by His grace we gain eternal life. This form of love is called Agape or God’s love. Human love is imperfect, it can be manipulative, envious, expecting, violent, but God’s love is indiscriminatory, generous, merciful and never changing. Do not fear to pick up your Cross for this Cross is perfect love. This cross transforms us forever into this love that is agape and with this cross we should never fear the future, the unknown, persecutions and rejection and that we might suffer for our faith for God is always there as are the graces that are abundant and unfailing.
